1. I DID Have Stretch Marks
Throughout my first pregnancy I was constantly looking in the mirror to see if I had stretch marks. I was happy to see that none had appeared! Yay me! I took every opportunity I had to lather myself in lotion. I made sure to put it on my thighs, butt, and of course my tummy. Fast forward to when I actually gave birth… There they were! I remember walking to the restroom to take a shower in the hospital and the mirror revealed the one thing I worked ever so hard to prevent, stretch marks. How cruel, body… How cruel.
2. I Couldn’t Get Glasses
This one was a huge bummer! Before my pregnancy my vision wasn’t the best, but boy did it get worse while I was pregnant. I made it a point to visit the eye doctor, but it ended up being after I gave birth because I was honestly just SO busy during my pregnancy. We finally had the time to do everything we needed to since I was on maternity leave and the hubby was on his paternity leave as well. I was excited to finally kiss the blurriness farewell… That was until my eye doctor told me we’d have to wait 3 months until he could prescribe me glasses! 3 months! What?! Yeah, apparently your hormones can still do things to funk up your vision.
3. I Wasted Money on Tea Tree
I love tea tree! Still to this very day, although just not as much… I’ll be real. I bought shampoo, conditioner, body soap (Both liquid and solid form-yeah wow), face wash, toner, face moisturizer, body moisturizer, and heck even a mask! I remember putting product in my hand, smelling my hands, and sighing in relief. My husband told me I was like the dude obsessed with hair from Charlie’s Angels. I think that’ll paint a better picture for you as to how obsessed I was. #cryingfaceemoji The addiction for tea tree was real, yes olfactory changes happen during pregnancy. No, they don’t last forever so don’t get suckered!
4. I’d Rather Hold My Piss
Yeah, you read that correctly. I would seriously be so scared to pee! It burned so badly I would find myself tearing up. Catheters man. Mom’s you know exactly what I’m talking about! I don’t think I need to go into details on this one.
5. Post Partum Hives Exist
Another joy post pregnancy: Hives. Yes, they exist. I had no idea until after giving birth when I would constantly break out into hives all over my legs and arms. Eczema does run through my family so I was overjoyed knowing that it’s not what I had and that eventually it would pass. I’d say it lasted for about 7 months after having Mason. I’m happy to say that although I do get them now, after having Levi they aren’t as severe.